Today my mom did taxi service for me by taking around my aunt and my sister-in-law shopping. This is not something she enjoys but since she owed me a favor she drove them around. But there is something you have to understand, my aunt is not the easiest person to get along with. Well neither is my mom but if you watch the movie Driving Miss Daisy I think you might get an idea of what's it's like spending the day with my aunt. She's not all bad but she has this great prejudice of things not necessary. Unfortunately my mom wanted to give my little 5 year old niece a present. This started my aunt's persistent nagging that just doesn't turn off until you leave her presence.
It all began innocently with my mom giving away clothes that she doesn't need to my sister-in-law and my other niece Gabby who is 9. Since Melon was feeling left out because she was too little for any of my mom's clothes, my mom decided to get something for her when they went shopping. So she promised Melon that she would get her something and if there's one thing Melon doesn't forget is that someone is getting her a present. (Seriously the kid did not forget that I promised to get her Snow White!)
So this is all innocent fun until my aunt gets wind of the unnecessary gift. According to her Melon has just too many clothes and doesn't need anymore because Ingrid just gave them a lot of hand-me-downs which are prime for wearing. But my mom, bless her heart didn't listen because she made a promise to Melon. So they all went off to Liberty to shop around for groceries then clothes. All through grocery shopping all my aunt did was try to talk my mom out of buying something for Melon. Of course she conveniently forgets that Gabby, Melon's sister, has triple the wardrobe, yet she never complains about Gabby getting more stuff.
So my mother endured, until all food was collected, paid for and loaded into the car. My aunt was beaming since she thought she won this battle since my mom wouldn't possibly get something for Melon since there was meat in the trunk. But God love her my mom has a stubborn streak just as bad as my aunt and didn't forget her promise to Melon. So she made everyone get out of the car and follow her to the store as she looked for a dress for Melon. My aunt was fuming but knew she lost the battle. The dress was paid for in less than 5 minutes and everyone was on their way home.
Melon was trilled with her dress that her aunt Martha got for her fulfilling their promise and my aunt just ranted and raved the injustice of sweet Melon getting a present.
Now my opinion on this whole episode is that my aunt is biased when it comes to Gabby and her other siblings. I understand this but seriously Melon is a precocious 5 year old who is unfortunately the middle child and not a boy. Meaning that usually she is brushed aside for her little brother or pushed aside by her big sister. So even I understand how a little thing like a new dress means a lot to her, hell my mom understand as well since she was also kinda a middle child. But explain that to my aunt who never sees a present as a gift but as a burden.
Tomorrow I will try to talk some sense into her because seriously it was just a dress and it brought a smile to Melon's face. Even if it takes up more room in her closet and she totally forgets about it in the future. She will remember that her aunt Martha kept her promise and I think that's more important. It's just sad that my aunt doesn't understand that so tries to take away the importance of the action. I guess everyone in some way has their selfish side. But when it comes to kids I just wish these selfish sides would hold back and let the real meaning of gifts shine through.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
Purpose of a Gift
Why a Pushover???
My dad left for Peru with my little sis for the summer. That means I'm on car service duty for the summer. Which really translates into me being my aunt's beck and call girl. Believe it or not I'm okay with that because that's what I usually do in the summer when my dad goes off on vacation and my aunt stays home. But what I'm not okay with is the assumption that I'm helping her to plan her daughter's, my older sister's, wedding...
Alright since I didn't layout my family dynamics (which I'm keeping for another post) just know that I have an older brother who is 14 years older than me and an older sister who is 12 years older than me, plus a little sister who is 13 years younger than me. Only the two older ones have the same mom but we all have the same dad. It's confusing and brings up questions but I don't really want to get into it at this time.
Anyway back to my sister's wedding. It's in October on what I think is the unlucky day of 13 but who knows maybe is precognitive. Anyway, also another topic is that I am not on speaking terms with my older sister. Believe it or not we did grow up together but I have always been the thorn in her side.
For years I have been her slave and was willing to do anything she asked of me and I did quite frequently. But, one day I screwed up, I admit it that I was tired from a 14 hour class schedule and had my cell on vibrate. So while I was busy with my new schedule I didn't call her to tell her I wasn't going to gym that night and that I wouldn't be able to take her. But of course the damage was done and the next day she was calling me an ungrateful wretch and she started the silent treatment which has lasted to this day.
Now I know the silent treatment is really a childish way of avoiding confrontation but I am not the first one she has done this with. So if you can't tell I was really hurt by this behavior. I mean seriously I'm fucking human! I admit I screwed up but you'd think that as my sister she would eventually forgive me or at least hear my explanation but no nothing thus far.
So when she finally and I mean finally got engaged last Christmas I had to act all happy in front of the family when I really wanted to give my condolences to the groom since he really doesn't know her true nature. Sadly also that was the first and only time my little sister ever got a hug from her which kinda gives you a clue to my older sister's mentality.
Anyway, you'd think that this would be an opportunity for her to say bygones be bygones but no same old silent treatment. It wasn't a shocker that she choose her best friend Cristine to be her maid of honor nor that her cousin Ingrid and her other friend Sylvann were her bridesmaids. It hurt but I was expecting it even when we used to talk.
What I didn't count on is that her best friend is a completely selfish bitch who doesn't know how to return a favor. Now my older sister, Cynthia, worked her ass off for Cristine's wedding and went beyond the call of duty. But since Cristine has a child the only thing she has done for Cynthia is book the place for the bridal shower and nothing else. She is depending on my aunt to do the rest because since she's busy with her son she doesn't have the time to do anything. Now my aunt is Cynthia's mother and has several serious medical conditions one of which is high blood pressure. So it is inadvisable to put her under stressful situations like planning a bridal shower since she knows nothing about bridal showers.
But tell that to self-involved Cristine who can't call a baby-sitter and get her ass on the shower so that my aunt lives long enough to watch her daughter walk down the aisle.
Anyway so that's where I come in. Due to my vast knowledge of weddings as I've seen them done on TV I have been the one my aunt asks for ideas and such for the shower. Now you have to understand that I'm not going to the wedding I've already decided that so I think it is unfair that I have to help plan the event when I'm not even going to that event either. I mean if I was paid and this was my job then I would swallow my pride and pitch in. But Cynthia thus far has treated me like crap and I'm suppose to be the pushover that plans her bridal shower and gives all the credit to her mother? I don't think so!!! It would be a different story if Cynthia were civil to me when family is not around but that's not the case. So I'm sorry if her mother gets a heart attack I am not getting involved. Maybe when her mother is in the hospital will her self-involved posse of bitches realize they should've bothered with something other than their lives.
