Touchy subject: Family

Maybe I'm the wrong one but when I look at family I see them as people and not as family members. My reason for this different perspective is because well I have not had a good experience with family members plus because of my special circumstances I've been a little isolated from them. So I am not close to anyone not even my own parents, of course the exceptions are my niece Gabby and my little sister Carolina. But put your feet in my shoes and understand that when there are family gatherings that I'm forced to attend it's worst than standing in a room full of strangers...

Believe it or not I feel more comfortable with a bunch of strangers than I do with family members. My reason is that even though strangers are judgmental at least they do not know my history nor think they already know me even though they only see me once a year.

That's one of the things I think is really screwed up about family since they are related they think that gives them the right to believe that they actually know me enough that they can give me advice. First of all how can you know a person if you only see them once a year and never even get to know their likes or dislikes. All they know about me is whatever the family gossips spread and that's basically not much.

So why is it that in the same situation with a stranger you can at least stand up for yourself and say bitch you don't know shit about me so fuck off? Why because they are related to you so that gives them this right to prejudge you and think that they can solve your problems with lectures and advice. Seriously it's a mind control game and thankfully I'm not a part of it, mind you I have nothing against these people but if they were not related to me I would not be friends with them even now I can't call anyone of them a friend.

So because of the bad blood between my sister and I I've had the opportunity to avoid them like the plague and so far I have gotten away from them except for x-mas. Which is the most stressful day of my life and I thank God when it's over and they are all out of my life for another year. So I've been doing the avoidance for about 5 years so u'd think by now they would leave me alone and get the hint that they weren't around for me ever so stop trying and leave me alone.

But no there is always the family gathering that I don't attend therefore my mother gets on my case about and again I ask her why do they care if I go or not. I mean why ask about me in the first place? Do they want more info for family gossip? Are they just being polite and don't really care? Yes and yes.

My father made a very good observation that none of them ever helped me out when I needed it. Of course the exception is my aunt Elva who did actually genuinely care and helped me out of bad situation but besides her all of them have been selfish ass holes. Many times I have been called to help this person or that person and time and time again they have stepped on me like shit because they like to take and never return the favor.

Of course my father wasn't that great there I mean they didn't give me any help and since he was going through this whole thing with my mom he also neglected me. So I have been neglected by both my mother and father and family. So it no wonder that none of them know anything about me that they only know what I let them know which isn't much. It is sad but also a good thing that only my friends know the real me. I trust them more than I do family.

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